I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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