haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
