So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
