whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
