I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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