If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize