I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
