just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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