just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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