At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize