you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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