took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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