Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
