are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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