That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Randomize
