I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
