I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
