For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
