I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize