The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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