I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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