Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
