Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize