We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
