awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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