Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
