spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
