Duck Duck Cougar?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize