I want to have your abortion
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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