i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
