I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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