Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
