were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize