Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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