bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
