They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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