does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
