The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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