I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
