I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
