Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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