At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
