question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
