Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
