Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
