I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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