She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
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