Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize