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i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
