I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize