yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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