I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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