I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize