Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
