I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
