His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
