he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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