he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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