glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
