i don't like sucking hair
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
