I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
