Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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