its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
