he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
