so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize