i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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