she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
